Glossary
Glossary of Terms
A Real-World Guide to Recovery, Betrayal, and Healing
If you’re navigating addiction recovery, betrayal trauma, or couples healing work, chances are you’ve heard terms that leave you wondering:
“What does that actually mean for my life right now?”
This glossary is here to help.
APSATS (The Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists)
APSATS is the leading organization for therapists and coaches who specialize in betrayal trauma recovery for partners of sex addicts.
APSATS teaches professionals to work from a partner-sensitive, trauma-informed lens, meaning they don’t pathologize partners or label them as codependent. They understand the difference between enabling and surviving, and they help partners heal without blame.
CSAT-C (Certified Sex Addiction Therapist Candidate)
A CSAT-C is a therapist currently in the process of becoming a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist. They’re completing 150+ hours of specialized training and 30+ hours of supervision through the International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals (IITAP).
This means they’re actively learning to help individuals struggling with sexual compulsivity while also supporting partners through betrayal trauma recovery.
CSAT (Certified Sex Addiction Therapist)
A CSAT is a therapist who has completed extensive training through IITAP (International Institute of Trauma and Addiction Professionals).
CSATs specialize in helping people recover from sex addiction, porn addiction, and compulsive sexual behaviors, while also working with betrayed partners to heal the trauma that betrayal causes.
Their approach is both trauma-informed and attachment-focused, knowing that this work is about more than stopping a behavior—it’s about restoring trust, identity, and connection.
Staggered Disclosure
This happens when the addicted person shares the truth in pieces over time, usually out of fear, shame, or an attempt to control the fallout.
For the partner, staggered disclosure feels like death by a thousand cuts—each new revelation retraumatizes and destabilizes the healing process.
Full Therapeutic Disclosure (FTD)
A Full Therapeutic Disclosure is a structured, therapist-guided process where the addicted person shares a complete, honest account of their behaviors and betrayals. Disclosure is the process where the addicted person shares the full truth about their behaviors and betrayals with their partner. In recovery work, disclosure is done in a structured, therapeutic setting, so both partners have support.
This isn’t about punishing the betrayer—it’s about giving the partner a clear narrative so they can stop living in fear of the unknown.his process is handled carefully, with the goal of stopping trickle-truth, validating the partner’s reality, and creating a foundation for real healing.
Sometimes a polygraph (lie detector test) is included to help confirm the disclosure is complete, which can reduce the partner’s need for constant vigilance or detective work.
Relapse
A relapse is when someone in recovery returns to their addictive behaviors after a period of sobriety.
It’s usually not just a one-time slip but a reversion to old patterns—hiding, minimizing, or acting out in ways that betray recovery goals and relationships.
Slip
A slip is a momentary lapse in recovery behavior. It’s typically caught early and doesn’t spiral into a full relapse.
For example, someone might engage in a minor boundary violation, feel immediate remorse, and report it to their recovery team right away.
The difference? A slip is a moment; a relapse is a pattern.
SA (Sex Addict / Sexaholics Anonymous)
SA can refer to a person struggling with sex addiction, or to Sexaholics Anonymous, which is a 12-step support group for people working to stop compulsive sexual behavior. Different recovery groups define sexual sobriety differently, so it’s important to find the community that aligns with your goals and values.
Al-Anon
Al-Anon is a 12-step support group for people who love someone with an addiction.
It helps partners, family members, and friends focus on their own healing, rather than trying to control or fix the addicted person.
One of Al-Anon’s key messages is:
“You didn’t cause it, you can’t control it, and you can’t cure it.”
CODA (Co-Dependents Anonymous)
CODA is a 12-step group for people working to heal codependency and unhealthy relationship patterns.
It’s a space to learn about boundaries, self-worth, and how not to lose yourself in someone else’s chaos.
Important note: In betrayal trauma, not all partners are codependent. But if you’re noticing your own relational patterns need healing, CODA can be a helpful support.
SDI (Sexual Dependency Inventory)
The SDI is a deep-dive questionnaire that helps uncover a person’s sexual behaviors, patterns, and history.
It’s often used in the therapeutic disclosure process to make sure the addicted person shares a full and accurate account of their behaviors—no more secrets, no more guessing.
SDMI (Sexual Dependency Meaning Inventory)
The SDMI focuses on the “why” behind sexual behaviors, helping clients and therapists understand what emotional needs or wounds are fueling the addiction.
This tool is about getting beneath the surface to address the root issues, not just stopping the behavior.
Polygraph for Infidelity / Addiction Recovery
A polygraph (lie detector test) is sometimes used in betrayal trauma recovery to verify that a therapeutic disclosure is complete and truthful.
For many betrayed partners, this helps settle the mind from constantly questioning, “Is there more I don’t know?”
When used properly, with guidance from trained therapists, a polygraph is a tool for restoring trust—not punishment.
Attachment Injury
An attachment injury happens when someone you love breaks the bond of trust and safety you thought you shared.
This kind of wound runs deep because it affects your sense of security in the relationship and in yourself.
Betrayal isn’t just about what happened—it’s about how it ruptures the connection at the core of your relationship.
Attachment Ambivalence
A term introduced by Michelle Mays, attachment ambivalence describes the inner war betrayed partners experience after betrayal.
One part of you wants to move closer to your partner for comfort and security.
Another part wants to pull away or run because being near them now feels unsafe.
This push-pull dynamic isn’t crazy—it’s what happens when your attachment system and your survival system are both firing at the same time.
Emotional and Psychological Injury
When someone lies, manipulates, or hides the truth from you to protect their addiction, it causes real emotional and psychological harm.
You might feel like you’re losing your sense of reality, questioning your worth, or stuck in constant anxiety.
These are not overreactions—they are trauma responses to deception and betrayal.
Gaslighting
Gaslighting is when someone manipulates you into doubting your memory, feelings, or perception of reality—often to cover up their own behavior.
In betrayal trauma, gaslighting can sound like:
“That never happened.”
“You’re just paranoid.”
“You’re remembering it wrong.”
Gaslighting creates deep emotional confusion and self-doubt and is often part of betrayal dynamics.
Betrayal Blindness
Coined by Dr. Jennifer Freyd, betrayal blindness happens when your mind subconsciously blocks out signs of betrayal because facing them feels too dangerous or overwhelming.
It’s a trauma response—not weakness—that helps you survive when the truth feels too destabilizing to process at the time.
Sexual Injury
A sexual injury happens when sexual betrayal damages not only the relationship but also the betrayed partner’s own sense of sexuality.
This can lead to:
Loss of sexual confidence
Feeling disgusted by sex or by one’s own body
Fear or avoidance of sexual connection
It’s not just about sex—it’s about the emotional damage betrayal inflicts on sexual identity and safety.
Three Trauma Traps of Partner Betrayal
Partners often get stuck in three trauma traps after betrayal:
The Fear Trap – Constant hypervigilance, scanning for more betrayal.
The Shame Trap – Blaming yourself or questioning your worth.
The Powerlessness Trap – Feeling stuck, hopeless, or frozen.
These are normal trauma responses, but staying in them too long can block healing. Therapy helps partners find ways to move through and out of these traps.
Sherlocking
Sherlocking is what happens when betrayed partners start playing detective—checking phones, scouring emails, or sleuthing for more evidence.
It’s a natural survival response when you’ve been lied to, but it can become exhausting and retraumatizing if it goes on unchecked.
Therapeutic disclosure is designed to stop the need for Sherlocking by providing the full truth in a safe, supported way.
Trauma Bonds
A trauma bond is a complicated, painful attachment that forms in relationships where there’s both harm and emotional connection.
It can make it hard to leave, set boundaries, or trust again—even when you logically know you’re being hurt.
Trauma bonds aren’t about weakness—they’re about survival wiring in the nervous system. Healing them takes time and compassionate support.
Triggers
A trigger is anything that causes your nervous system to react as if the original trauma is happening again.
For partners, this might look like:
A smell, date, or place that brings back betrayal memories
A partner being late or using a certain tone of voice
For the addicted person, it might be stress, shame, or loneliness that tempts a return to compulsive behaviors.
Recovery involves learning how to notice the trigger and respond with regulation instead of reaction.
Emotional Regulation
Emotional regulation is the practice of learning how to manage intense feelings without shutting down, blowing up, or acting out.
It’s about staying grounded in the middle of discomfort. In recovery, this is a key skill for both partners and addicts.
Window of Tolerance
Your window of tolerance is the range of emotional experience where you can stay present, think clearly, and make wise choices.
When you’re outside of it, you might freeze (shut down) or spin out (fight/flight).
Therapy helps expand this window so you can handle more without breaking.
Emotional Safety
Emotional safety means knowing you can show up honestly and vulnerably without fear of attack, rejection, or abandonment.
For couples healing from betrayal, emotional safety is the foundation. It’s not about perfection—it’s about honesty, consistency, and repair.
Need Support?
At Root to Bloom Therapy, we specialize in helping individuals and couples heal from betrayal trauma, addiction recovery, and attachment wounds.
We serve Pensacola, Jacksonville, and all of Florida via telehealth.