When Life Feels Unfair After Betrayal: Walking With God Through the Pain | Root to Bloom Therapy
By Tesa Saulmon, LMHC, CSAT | Root to Bloom Therapy | Pensacola, FL & Telehealth Across Florida
“This season is not fair.”
If you’ve whispered that under your breath or screamed it into the void, you’re not alone.
When you’ve been betrayed by the person you trusted most, life can feel unbearable. You might look around at other marriages and wonder why yours got blindsided by infidelity, addiction, or deception. Why your life feels shattered while others seem to coast along in peace.
It’s human to ask, “Why me? Why this?”
And if you’ve asked God that question, you’re not wrong for doing so.
Not Every Season Feels Fair
Betrayal trauma is one of the most disorienting, destabilizing life experiences a person can endure. It cuts deep into the core of your attachment system—the place where safety, love, and belonging are supposed to live.
When the person you built your life with is the one who broke your heart, it feels like the floor drops out from under you.
Maybe you’ve tried to pray, but the words don’t come.
Maybe you’ve tried to forgive, but the pain still roars.
Maybe you’ve begged God for clarity, for justice, for restoration—or just for relief—but the silence feels deafening.
It’s okay to admit that this doesn’t feel fair. Because it’s not. Betrayal is not part of God’s design for marriage or for you.
He doesn’t minimize it. He doesn’t ask you to pretend you’re okay.
Scripture is full of people crying out in raw honesty:
“How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?” (Psalm 13:1)
“Even when I call out or cry for help, He shuts out my prayer.” (Lamentations 3:8)
“My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Psalm 22:1)
If these words made it into the Bible, your cries are welcome too.
But Every Season Can Be Reassuring—When You Walk It With the One Who Sees the Whole Story
Here’s the thing:
God isn’t asking you to like this season.
He’s inviting you to walk with Him through it.
You don’t have to force gratitude for betrayal.
You don’t have to call trauma “a blessing in disguise.”
That’s spiritual bypassing, and it causes more harm than healing.
What you can do is rest in this truth: God sees the entire timeline of your life—beginning, middle, and end.
He knows the depth of your heartbreak today and the restoration He’s weaving tomorrow, even if you can’t yet imagine it.
This isn’t about rushing to forgiveness before you’ve processed the pain.
It’s not about staying in unsafe situations because “God hates divorce.” (Let’s be clear: God also hates abuse, deception, and the breaking of covenant.)
It’s not about silencing your anger or pushing down your grief.
It’s about companioning with the One who holds the bigger picture.
The One who promises:
“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18)
“I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten.” (Joel 2:25)
“I am doing a new thing; now it springs up. Do you not perceive it?” (Isaiah 43:19)
God’s timeline may feel excruciatingly slow. But His presence is immediate.
And His presence is what turns unbearable seasons into bearable ones.
What Walking With God in This Season Can Actually Look Like:
1. Honest Prayers, Not Pretty Ones
God can handle your anger, confusion, and hurt.
Pray the messy prayers. Say the words you’re afraid to say out loud.
He’s not looking for performance—He’s looking for relationship.
2. Permission to Grieve, Not Perform
Grief is not a lack of faith. It’s proof that you’ve loved deeply and lost something sacred.
You don’t have to pretend you’re fine. Jesus wept too.
3. Small, Safe Steps Forward
You don’t have to know the whole path.
Maybe today your step is journaling your feelings.
Maybe it’s setting a boundary.
Maybe it’s calling a therapist or joining a support group.
Each step matters. None of it is wasted.
4. A Reminder That Your Story Is Not Over
This chapter feels brutal, but it’s not the end.
Even if your marriage doesn’t survive in the way you hoped, you will.
Your identity is not just “betrayed spouse.”
You are God’s beloved child, seen and cherished in every season.
Final Thoughts:
When life feels unfair, you don’t need trite answers.
You need reassurance that you’re not alone in the darkness.
The God who sees the whole story is walking with you now.
He’s not rushing you through the pain, but He is redeeming it—minute by minute, tear by tear, step by step.
Hold on. Healing is coming, and so is clarity.
Need Support?
At Root to Bloom Therapy, we walk with individuals and couples through the trauma of betrayal, addiction, and relationship crisis. We help you stabilize, process, and move forward with faith and integrity—without spiritual bypassing.
Let’s start your healing journey together.
Contact: www.roottobloomtherapy.com
Instagram: @talkingwithtesa
Phone: 850-530-7236
