When You’ve Been Lied To: Finding God’s Peace After False Promises

(A reflection on Lamentations 2:14–17 and 1 John 4:1–14)

By Tesa Saulmon, LMHC, CSAT | Root to Bloom Therapy

When “Peace” Was Built on Lies

In Lamentations 2:14–17, Jeremiah grieves how false prophets comforted God’s people with words that sounded kind but carried no truth. They said, “You will have peace,” while sin and deception spread unchecked. The people wanted to believe things weren’t as bad as they seemed — but ignoring the infection only made it worse.

If you’ve been betrayed, you understand this ache. You lived through someone else’s “false peace” — the illusion that things were fine, the calm that wasn’t real, the love that wasn’t honest. You were told partial truths, mixed with enough good to keep you hoping. And when reality broke through, the peace you thought you had shattered too.

Lamentations gives words to that pain: “Your prophets saw false and foolish visions for you… they did not expose your sin to ward off your captivity.”

The betrayal wasn’t just the act — it was the ongoing lie.

The Wounds of False Prophets and False Promises

False prophets don’t just exist in ancient history. They live in our world — and sometimes, they’ve lived in our marriages.

They are anyone who:

• Comforts without truth.

• Offers shortcuts to healing.

• Says what sounds loving, but avoids what is real.

Maybe your spouse said, “It wasn’t that bad.” Or friends said, “You should just move on.” Or maybe even your own heart whispered, “If I ignore it, maybe it will stop hurting.”

But God doesn’t heal through denial. He heals through truth.

He never minimizes sin or silences grief. He names it. He faces it. And He sits with you in the ashes until you begin to rise again.

God’s Peace Doesn’t Pretend — It Heals

False peace says, “It’s fine.”

God’s peace says, “It’s broken, but I will make it whole.”

That’s why His offer of salvation is so different from the empty promises you were given. God doesn’t ask you to pretend your heart isn’t shattered. He asks you to bring the shattered pieces to Him.

In 1 John 4:1–14, we’re told to “test the spirits,” because not every voice that sounds spiritual is speaking truth. This means you don’t have to accept every comforting word — even if it comes wrapped in Scripture. You have permission to discern, to grieve, and to hold onto the God who tells the truth, even when that truth hurts.

Because real peace is not found in pretending the past didn’t happen. It’s found in the presence of a God who stays when others fail you.

Why You Shouldn’t Ignore Sin — Even When You’re the One Wounded

When betrayal breaks your world, it’s easy to fix your eyes only on your spouse’s sin. But Lamentations reminds us that unaddressed sin — whether it’s deception, bitterness, or unbelief — always leads to deeper captivity.

You didn’t cause your spouse’s choices, but you do have a choice in how you respond. Ignoring your own pain or letting resentment rule your heart will slowly harden you.

God invites you to bring your wounds into His light too. Not because you’re to blame — but because He wants to heal all of what betrayal touched: your trust, your faith, your identity, and your hope.

Reflection for the Betrayed Spouse

• Where have you been tempted to accept false peace — to say “I’m okay” when your heart is still bleeding?

• What would it look like to let God comfort you without rushing your healing?

• How can you hold truth and grace together — toward yourself, your spouse, and God?

You don’t have to settle for the fragile peace that others offer. God’s peace isn’t cheap. It’s forged in honesty, grief, and redemption.

I Want You to Remember

You were never meant to carry a counterfeit peace. The God who sees your tears also sees the truth. He doesn’t ask you to minimize your pain or rush your forgiveness. He asks you to bring it into His light — because that’s where healing begins.

The same Jesus who faced betrayal and denial knows what it feels like to be deceived. And He promises that His love will outlast every false promise ever spoken over you.

Hold on, beloved one. Truth may sting, but it’s also the soil where hope grows.