Porn Isn’t Biblical: Why Porn Is Not “Not Cheating” According to Scripture

Feb 6

Written By Tesa Saulmon

Porn Isn’t Biblical, Even When It’s Justified as “Not Cheating”

Many Christian men who use pornography genuinely believe this one sentence:

“It’s not cheating because there’s no physical person involved.”

They love their wives.
They attend church.
They may even lead spiritually in other areas of life.

And yet pornography has quietly been allowed to stay.

This blog is not about condemnation.
It is about clarity.

Because when we look honestly at Scripture, pornography is not biblically neutral, biblically permissible, or biblically harmless. And the way it is often justified actually reveals deeper misunderstandings about fidelity, sexuality, and covenant.

The Bible does not define faithfulness as “only physical”

One of the most common justifications for porn use is this idea that cheating only happens when bodies touch.

Jesus directly dismantles that belief.

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’
But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
Matthew 5:27–28

Jesus does not narrow adultery.
He deepens it.

He locates faithfulness not only in behavior, but in desire, intent, and the direction of the heart.

Pornography is not passive viewing. It is intentional sexual arousal directed toward someone who is not your spouse. That is not a technical loophole. That is the very definition Jesus addresses.

Lust in Scripture is not about noticing beauty

There is often confusion here, and men especially are taught to collapse everything into “visual temptation.”

The Bible makes a distinction between:

noticing beauty
and cultivating lust

Lust in Scripture refers to feeding desire, not momentary attraction.

Pornography is designed to:

stir sexual desire
hold attention
escalate arousal
and invite repeated return

That is not temptation knocking at the door.
That is opening the door, pulling up a chair, and staying awhile.

Porn separates sex from covenant, and Scripture never does

Biblically, sex is not just about release.
It is about oneness.

“The two will become one flesh.”
Genesis 2:24

Sex was created to be:

exclusive
unifying
bonding
covenantal

Pornography takes sexual arousal and pleasure and disconnects it from covenant, presence, responsibility, and love.

It trains the body and mind to consume sexuality without sacrifice or intimacy. That is not a small thing spiritually. It reshapes desire.

“But I’m not touching anyone” misses the heart of the covenant

Marriage is not only a contract of bodies. It is a covenant of:

exclusivity
intimacy
transparency
and trust

When porn is hidden, minimized, or justified, something else is happening:

secrecy replaces openness
fantasy replaces presence
self-gratification replaces mutual giving

Even if no one else ever finds out, the covenant has already been altered internally.

Biblical faithfulness is not about how far you can go without crossing a technical line. It is about guarding the heart that belongs to your spouse.

Porn also violates the biblical call to love, not use

Scripture repeatedly calls believers to honor others as image-bearers, not objects.

“Treat younger women as sisters, with absolute purity.”
1 Timothy 5:2

Pornography trains the brain to:

reduce people to body parts
separate sexual pleasure from relationship
consume without responsibility or care

That posture is the opposite of Christlike love.

Porn does not teach men to cherish women. It teaches men to use women.

And even when the content is “consensual,” the act of consumption still centers the self above love, honor, and dignity.

Spiritual justification often protects what the heart is not ready to release

Many Christian men do not justify porn because they are evil.

They justify it because:

they feel stuck
they feel ashamed
they feel afraid of exposure
they do not know how to stop

So theology becomes a shield instead of a guide.

“It’s not cheating.”
“Everyone struggles.”
“God knows my heart.”
“At least it’s not physical.”

But Scripture is not meant to help us manage sin. It is meant to lead us into freedom.

Porn harms marriages, even when it stays private

From a clinical perspective, pornography use that is hidden or escalated often leads to:

emotional distance
reduced sexual connection
porn-conditioned arousal patterns
secrecy and erosion of trust
betrayal trauma when discovered

Many betrayed wives describe the pain not just as sexual, but spiritual.

They ask:
“How could you worship God and hide this from me?”
“Why did you protect this instead of our marriage?”
“Was I not enough?”

Those wounds do not come from nowhere.

This is not about shame. It is about alignment.

The gospel does not shame people into holiness.

It invites people into truth.

Pornography is not biblical. Not because God is restrictive, but because He is protective.

He protects:

covenant
intimacy
dignity
and the human heart

And when something consistently pulls us away from those things, Scripture is clear. It does not belong.

A gentle word to the man who is reading this and feels exposed

If this stirred discomfort, that does not automatically mean condemnation.

It may mean conviction.

And conviction is an invitation, not a verdict.

You are not too far gone.
You are not uniquely broken.
And you are not beyond help.

But justification will keep you stuck.
Honesty is what opens the door to healing.

A Gentle Clinical and Spiritual Note

This article is written for educational and spiritual reflection, not to diagnose or replace individualized mental health or pastoral care.

If pornography use has become habitual, secretive, escalated, or damaging to your marriage or faith, professional support can help. Compulsive sexual behavior patterns are treatable, and spiritual renewal does not require perfection, only honesty.