You Will Eventually Stop Crying

If you’re here, I’m guessing you’re in the thick of it right now. Maybe you just found out about your partner’s betrayal, or maybe it’s been a little while but the pain still feels just as sharp. First, let me say: I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I wish I could reach through the screen and give you a big, warm hug.

As someone who’s spent years helping people heal from betrayal trauma, I want to talk to you honestly, like a friend who gets it, but also as someone who’s seen this pain up close, over and over. I want to tell you the thing that feels impossible to believe right now: you will eventually stop crying.

That First Wave: You’re Not Crazy

Let’s be real. The first days, weeks, even months after discovering infidelity? They’re brutal. You might feel like you’re losing your mind. One minute you’re numb, the next you’re sobbing so hard you can’t breathe. You might start crying in the grocery store, or in the middle of a work meeting, or just lying in bed staring at the ceiling. Sometimes the tears come out of nowhere, and sometimes they’re all you can do.

Here’s what I want you to know: this is normal. Your body and mind are in shock. You’re grieving—not just the relationship, but the version of your life you thought you had. It’s like the rug’s been pulled out from under you, and you’re left flailing, trying to make sense of it all.

It Feels Like the Pain Will Never End

I hear this all the time: “Will I ever feel normal again?” “Will I ever stop crying?” In those early days, it really does feel like the pain is endless. You wake up and for a split second everything’s okay, then it hits you all over again. The sadness, the anger, the confusion—they’re relentless. You might even start to wonder if you’re broken, or if you’ll ever be able to trust anyone again.

And honestly? It’s okay to feel that way. There’s no timeline for this. Don’t let anyone rush you or tell you how you should be feeling.

But This Isn’t Forever (Even If It Feels Like It)

Here’s the thing I want you to hold onto, even if it feels out of reach right now: the pain won’t always be this sharp. I’ve seen it happen, over and over. The tears slow down. The ache in your chest gets a little lighter. You start to have moments—tiny at first—where you’re not thinking about the betrayal. Maybe you laugh at a silly meme, or you notice the sun feels nice on your face, or you go a whole afternoon without crying.

It’s not about “getting over it” or pretending it didn’t happen. It’s about healing. Your heart is doing the hard work of processing, grieving, and slowly, slowly, starting to hope again. It’s not linear, and there will be setbacks. But you are moving forward, even when it doesn’t feel like it.

You’re Not Alone—Really

If you take nothing else from this, let it be this: you are not alone. What you’re feeling is valid. The tears, the anger, the confusion—it’s all part of the process. Reach out for help if you can, whether it’s a therapist, a support group, or a trusted friend. Let yourself feel what you need to feel. Be gentle with yourself.

One day you’ll realize you went a whole day without tears, and you’ll realize you’re stronger than you ever knew. Healing is possible, and you deserve every bit of it.

Take care of yourself, friend. You’re going to get through this.